Trusting the process

Week totals

Total pounds lost since starting diet bet: 13.2

Total steps this week: 80,588

I stepped on the scale this morning and saw a number I haven't seen in quite some time. I was immediately overjoyed. I've finally overcome the hump I haven't been able to get over in so many tries. 

I have lost 20 pounds since I started wearing my Fitbit regularly again in August. 

It took me a long time, but I finally reached that goal and earned that accomplishment. 

I credit positive thinking and me really changing my thoughts to this. I have tried for so long and so hard but I grew to keep accepting negative results. It was hard to overcome that, but I had to. 

I have found myself obsessed with getting 10,000 steps each day. On Saturday, I went to the mall alone so that I could walk until reaching the 10,000 make. The weekends are so hard for me. I want to relax and be lazy, and I want to be active. I think if the weather didn't suck so bad, it might not be as hard. But, it is what it is. I have to learn to adjust. 

Back to this morning... 

I was SO excited to see that number on the scale. And I was so excited to wear jeans this weekend that I haven't worn since last winter. 

I thought, this was a great time to document some progress. 

So, I asked my little sister to take a picture of me... I wasn't wearing a bra, and the tank top I was wearing was falling down, and I looked ridiculous. 

But, what startled me the most... 

I looked the same.

How could someone who has lost 13 pounds look exactly the same.

No wonder I never get compliments. I still look like that. 

I had reached such a high, and in a millisecond, I fell from it. Shattered. 

How long is this going to take? How long do I have to wait until I look at that progress picture and actually see something? 

I felt so defeated.

For a while... 

I spent a few hours just reminding myself to trust the process. Trust the process. Trust the process. 

I picked myself up a bit. 

I've met my 10,000 step goal today ... On a day I didn't expect to, and on a day where last week, I didn't even get to 6,000. 

But, what's really resonating with 

me is this quote I found browsing Pinterest... 

Gosh, that really spoke to me. Time. Patience. Faith. Hope. Belief. I need more of all of these things. 

I can't rush. Even though I want to. I have to trust this journey. I have to trust that someday, I'll get there. Someday. 

For now, I'm changing habits, enjoying life, and finding a way to make this work. 

I hope that the next time I wrote, I will be able to say that I'm miraculously sleeping again. 

Cross your fingers.

I also look forward to the day when I can post a transformation picture and actually fee like I've made a difference in my own life.